Dear Life

Dear Life,

Sometimes you are overwhelming, confusing, unfair and full of hurt. Sometimes I don't understand why things happen the way they do and your reasoning or timing. I blame you for my problems, struggles and adversitics. I wonder what your purpose is, or mostly what my purpose is within you. Somedays I feel tired of meeting your stereotypes, and somedays I don't know what to do. BUT, sometimes you are so beautiful, so full of joy and hope. You are full of all the good moments that live between the bad. You give us multiple, multiple chances to be who we want to be, live how we want to live, and become who we are meant to be. You are always changing, never stagnant, always providing us with more time, more opportunities. You provide the moments that make up our lives. You are the gasp of air after laughing too hard, the widening of cycs after secing something beautiful, the embrace of a hug, the warmth of a touch, butterflies when your excited, the first bite of your favorite food, and hearing the words "I love you". You showed me that bad things are going to happen and that is inevitable. But while that was happening you reminded me that bad days are not bad lives, and bad mistakes are not bad people. I know we need them, just like we need the good days, like all things in life we need balance. When you give bad you also give depth, empathy, and an appreciation for the good. Just like the good, the bad will never last. The past is the past and you will never let us go back and change it. You think it is funny that us humans spend so much time analyzing it as though we could actually do anything to change it. You show me that the future is just as unknown to you as it is to us and that you wish for me to just live in the moment that you provide, live for what it is and not for what I want it to be. I think you are unpredictable but that's okay, it's needed. The fact that you only give us one of you, defines this whole message. We are all living in the same universe, with similar struggles, insecurities and doubts. We are all just trying to push though that one project, that one exam, that one work week, but while were on autopilot just trying to get through the day, you are passing us by. You show me that we still have to live in between all the big moments, all the hustle and bustle. It's the small insignificant moments that consequently make you what you arc. It's finding the little glimmers of hope that you place thought out the day that make me stop to take a second to slow down. You turn days into weeks and the weeks into months and there's never enough of you, there's never enough time. SO the big question is, why do we have to wait to start "living like we're dying" until we are actually dying? Why does it take you bringing us to our knees for us to receive the wakcup call you've been so desperately providing? There is only one of you and that makes you seem powerful. However, it's me who has the power. It is me who has the power to change and to choose how I want to live you. I have always had the power; I guess it just took some time to see it. To see through the excuses and obstacles I was always hiding behind. But when you come knocking at my door and it is time to let you win, I need to know that I made the most of you. That I made the most of the good, the bad and every little thing that laid between. I guess all I'm trying to say is that you've always been the same, you will always be this overwhelming concept that everyone is trying to perfect, but perfect isn't the goal, it never was. The goal is simple; the goal is to just  l i v e.

Sincerely, 

Just a girl with a lot of thoughts